I noticed that I haven't posted a blog entry in a few years. Wow ... have I been that busy?! Well one thing is for sure a lot has changed since my last post. I am now Head Varsity Coach at Sequim High, teaching Yoga at SARC, teaching Yoga and Zumba at OPA, practicing as a Doula, and loving my life.
I have been praying for years now for God to bless us with another baby and He did and then He didn't. I struggled beyond what is comprehendable with the loss of this pregnancy. I was never angry ... just confused. Why would God give me this baby ... just to take it all away?! Well, I still don't have all the answers but I do know that if we are meant to have another baby ... God will make it happen. I am at the point in my journey where I have totally and completely given up on counting days, cycles, timing, etc. and have surrendered the whole experience to His will.
God has given me so many blessings ... how can I possibly not focus on those things?! How can I continue to be blinded by the fact that the one thing that I have asked for He hasn't given to me ... yet?! Well, I can't! I can no longer ignore the life right in front of me. I have my unconditionally loving hubby. I have 3 wonderful children. I have friends who are beyond my source of strength and support. I have my job ... which isn't a typical "job" ... because I love it.
I love cheer, dance, coaching, and mentoring all my "cheer kids". I have grown into such a patient, accepting and humble adult through all my life experiences; being a Mom, a Wife, a Coach, a Friend, a Daughter, a Sister and a Child of God. I love my friends and family just as they are; energetic, fun, loving and flawed ... just like all of us.
Honestly I have struggled over the years with allowing the people in my life to be who they are and not who I want them to be. In the past few months I definitely have a new and brighter perspective on this topic. I can truly say that I owe this life lesson to a gentlemen who I met on the plane ride home from CA just a few months ago. He encouraged me to forgive my Father, love him and allow him to be exactly who he is. I have taken that conversation to heart and have begun to truly heal my heart and someday I hope to extend that healing to my Dad and rebuild what has always been a painful and unforgiving relationship. So ... during this time of the year when we often ponder just exactly what we are thankful for ... I remember that I have so many things to praise God for and I pray that next year I will again have a long list of blessings in my life to embrace and rejoice.
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